I never understood that saying. Probably because I love lemons – you name it – any shape or form … lemonade, lemon bars, cookies or cakes, slices in my Diet Coke and even lemon soap…I love lemons! It must be just like everything else in life, it’s all in the way you look at it.
And that is exactly what our approach has been to raising our gender variant child, Sam. Somewhere along this road less traveled that we found ourselves on, we made an unconscious decision to look at gender in a completely different way, putting it in the proper context and never looking back.
I would like to report that we were comfortable from the start, but that could not be further from the truth. In the beginning it was not easy understanding a young child who insisted that ‘she’ was really a boy inside. We bucked Sam’s feelings early on, passing them off as a phase or using the tomboy label as a wishful excuse. Ignoring earnest pleas to order the Happy Meal that included the boy’s toy or naïve requests to shop in the boy’s clothing department, but in hindsight I think deep down we knew – we just needed to work on how we looked at it. Once we changed our perspective– realizing that Sam is our wonderful Sam, no matter what gender – everything fell into place.
So many friends have said to my husband and me, “…I don’t think I would be able to be as accepting as you are,” to which we reply, “…of course you would because the well being and happiness of your child depends on it and that is what is most important.”
Once you look at it that way, nothing else matters.